Monday, December 24, 2007

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for The Nativity of Our Lord, Christmas Day

Our Christmas Angel, Daisy the Curly Cat

Nativity of Our Lord (III), Christmas Day

Isaiah 52:7-10
Psalm 98 (Ps. 98:3)
Hebrews 1:1-4 (5-12)
John 1:1-14

Hebrews 1:1-6

Bebbi Jesus pwns teh Hovercat Anjuls

1 Hey Joos! In teh olden dais, ur olden dais kittehs speakd bout ur Ceiling Cat at bunchiz of tiemez in bunchiz of wayz,
2 But, in thees lahst caturdais Ceiling Cat haz speakd to u wif his Baby Jesus, hoo will haz all teh stuffs, n hoo haz helpd Ceiling Cat mak all teh stuffs,
3 n hoo iz holdin togethr all teh stuffs, cuz he's all liek, "Mah werd iz pwnage!" Baby Jesus iz teh beemz from teh Celing Cat's flashliet, n iz teh spittin imij of teh Celing Cat. He iz represtin! He haz sit down wif Ceiling Cat in teh Ceiling chair cuz he haz all done wif givin teh soapz for cleanin mah 3vilz and ur 3vilz.
4 So, he iz haz bettr n all teh anjulz liek his nayem iz haz bettr n all teh anjulz. He haz teh reputashun iz 999 exaltd in teh Ceilingz.
5 Cuz teh Ceiling Cat sez, "UR mah kitteh! srsly!" Celeing Cat never telld dis to teh anjuls. He only sez dis to his king kitteh on teh earthz, fer realz.
6 Furdermorz, when Ceiling Cat brungded his bestest to from teh Ceilings to teh earthz, hez all likes, "Yo anjulz! Dis mah kitteh! Yoos worship mah kitteh! Thnx."

John 1:1-14
Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh

1 In teh beginz is teh cat macro, and teh cat macro sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh cat macro iz teh Ceiling Cat.
2 Teh cat macro an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.
3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.
4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."
5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.
7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz sez "OMG." or mai b taht shud b "OMCC."
8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.
9 Teh tru lite--iz lotz of lite--iz comes, k?
10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.
11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"
12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—
13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.
14 Teh cat macro is becomes Visible Man (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.

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So Kitteh Can Has Reelijin!


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