Friday, April 11, 2008

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fourth Sunday of Easter

Fourth Sunday of Easter

Acts 2:42-47
Psalm 23 (Ps. 23:1)
1 Peter 2:19-25
John 10:1-10

Acts 2: 42-47
Teh Fewoship of teh Beweevaws

42 Den dey gotz cookiez an dey praid and lissen to teh oder kittehs
43 Everywun wuz all happeh and teh apawsles didz a majic sho, srsly.
44 An dey wer all frenz, lol.
45 Dey sell stuffz like blanketz and oder stuffz, an dey giv stufz to poor kittehz.
46 Evewy day dey met an went an had sleep ovahs and slumbah partayz an dey eated cookiez!
47 Dey worshipz Ceiling Cat an den he wuz all happeh an teh apawsles can has moar saveded kittehs!

Psalm 23

1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
He givz me evrithin I need.
2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
3 He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.

1 Peter 2: 19-25

19 cuz this is good, if sum1 steals ur bukkit and u r sad but don’t hurt the one who took ur bukkit.
20 Ceiling Cat approves of this.
21 U do this cuz Jeebus did it
22 “i wuz good, lol”
23 and Jeebus was always nice to teh ppls.
24 And we can have chzbururz and were healed by teh powr of Jeebus.
25 We were n00bs, but Jeebus takes teh n00b awai.

John 10: 1-10
teh sheep d00d an shepz

1 Jesus say "k gais i is for srs, if ur in shepfold and u no goes thru dor, u is r0bbr.
2 but if u can goez in thru shepfold door, is ur shepfold.
3 cuz that means shepfold dorman see u and all ur sheepz hearz u. cuz u give shepz names and takez them from shepfold
4 and so the shepz hearz name and folowz cuz is shepfold gai an hear liek teh shepfold gai.
5 but if iz no shepfold gai, sheepz no folow cos is no shepfold gai and no sowndz like shepfold guy so shepz are like: run awai! is no shepfold gai!"
6 Teh gaiz wer liek "wtf u talkin bout sheepz 4? i has no klu wat u meanz."
7 Jesus sez agn "k, lsn srsly gais, i iz shep door.
8 Erleer peepz was r0bberz, n sheepz was like: i no lisn 2 u.
9 I iz door. (I iz opn door, so u no need 2 compln, k?) U goes thru me, u iz ok, n u go in n u com out n u getz nice gras n stuf.
10 R0bberz d00dz steelz ur stuff n kilz u. I iz here so u can has lots of lif.

holy kitten has evolved into holycat!


Here is some press we've received:
Los Angeles TimesLolcat Bible Translation Project Presents the Gospel According to Fluffy
Chicago Tribune EditorialThe Gospel According to Kitty
Courier-JournalLolcat r full of win
The Roanoke Tunes — Lolcat a Growing Craze (a short mention here)
Rebel YellI CAN HAS TECH CORNER?: Internet meme ascends to biblical level
The Beacon, FL "Commentary: Cute felines, clever captions spark LOLCats craze"


We hope to have many other Holy Kitties featured this year.
Please e-mail your photo, caption and link to me at
Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator
(submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging #149 Apr 12-13
Special Edition: HERE At the Cat Blogosphere with
A Byootaful Life, HotMBC, and Kashim and Othello
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post
in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos Edition 40 04-13-2008
Astrid & Kashim & Othello at The Catboys Realm
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats 4/13/08 #213 - Sunday Evening
Mr Tigger at the M-Cats Club
who is giving a break to Pet and the Bengal Brats of Pet’s Garden Blog
while Pet is recovering from an illness
(submit your post here)

1 comment:

  1. My humans think you all are geniuses over there. Next Saturday, please check out my blog at for my explanation of the Purrover holiday. And along those lines, I’d like to tell you that I’ve written a scathingly funny book, The World Is Your Litter Box, which will be out May 6th. The book is cleverly disguised as a cute cat book so humans will buy it, but is, in fact, a how-to manual FOR cats. Check it out on my website,


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