Friday, May 30, 2008

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Third Sunday After Pentecost

Third Sunday after Pentecost

Deuteronomy 11:18-21, 26-28
Psalm 31:1-5, 19-24 (Ps. 31:3)
Romans 1:16-17; 3:22b-28 (29-31)
Matthew 7:21-29



Deuteronomy 11: 18-28

18 Dont ferget thees shitz.
19 Tel ur childz not 2 ferget thees shitz aitherz. Tel demz twoo tiemz a day.
20 Rite theez on ur dorz,
21 and u will has kittiez liek whoa.
22 If uz doo wat CEILING CAT sez,
23 Then CEILING CAT wil maek theirz bases belong to uz.
24 All teh base wil belong to uz: frum Lebanon, to teh river, to teh sea, all theez base wil belong to uz.
25 No ones can stop uz. CEILING CAT wil skare their d00dz.
26 Today I givez u a cheezburger and a sqirt gunz:
27 Teh cheezburger eef u obayz CEILING CAT,:
28 Teh sqirt gun eef uz fuk CEILING CAT ovrz. Srsly.:

Psalm 31

1 In yu, o Cieling Cat, ai hided;
dis kitteh dont want to be fownd in kitteh littur trai (tis embarrusin);
plez send meh to ur richoushnessh ov cookiez an burdiez!!
2 Ai has a seekit
plez cum findz meh :(;
plez beh sofa so I can haides,
plez be mah haidysofa
3 thx 4 being sofa
I wuv u Ceiling Cat an giz yu allz mah cookiez!!
4 Oh noes! Dere is trap! Be ma sofaz agen!!1!!!!

Romans 1: 16-32

16 Am not emberess uf teh Gud Nuuz becuz it meens Ceiling Cat has invisible powerz.
17 An then if we has fayth then Ceiling Cat ses we r gud. An that r like teh skripchurs sed, "Gud ppl haf life thru fayth."

Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT teh Invisible Errors
18 If u has teh invisible errors, an u hides truth, u maek Ceiling Cat mad, k?
19 Ceiling Cat shows us wut is tru.
20 Wen Ceiling Cat maed teh urths, ppls cud see he has invisible powers, an so they has no excus.
21 They dun thx Ceiling Cat. An they wuz confusd.
22 They sed "Am smrt," but reeli r stoopid.
23 They dun wurship Ceiling Cat. They wurship teh idols like Booda, but he eets too mani cheezbrgrs. Wy u wanna wurship him?
24 So Ceiling Cat ses FIEN! BE DAT WAY!
25 An so they wurship stoopid idols an not Ceiling Cat.
26 An Ceiling Cat let them do bad fings and mani invisible errors. An they had ebil secks that wuz bad.
27 Evrbody had ghey secks and stuffs.
28 Evrbody thot Ceiling Cat was stoopid, so Ceiling Cat let thm do stoopid stuff an they shuldnt do that stuff!
29 Liek ebil wicked stuff an killsing an fites an lies an gosip.
30 They iz prowd an meen an they hates Ceiling Cat.
31 They dun keep promis, if they ses u can has cookie, an then eets it, an they stolend teh Lolrus's bukkit.
32 They knows Ceiling Cat ses it r bad but they does it anywai.

Matthew 7: 21-29

21 When teh tiem comez lotz of peeplz will be all "O hai, we tellded teh fyoochr n chaseded awai demnz n gived cheezburgr in ur name."
22 I will sai 'I never knew u LOL. Go awai!'

teh whys and foolish bilders
23 If u heer me n do whut I tellz u, u iz liek teh smart d00d who builded his house on teh rock.
24 It rainded n flooded n it wuz windi. But teh house did not fall down bcz of teh rock.
25 But if u heer me n duzn do whut I tellz u, u iz liek teh dumass who builded his house on teh sand.
26 It rainded n flooded in it wuz windi. N his house falled down LOL."
27 Evribodi wuz impressed wif Jesus for sayin all dis.
28 everyone was all amazdz0rz and bowed tehre heds
29 Bcz he wuz cooler than teh law teechrs.



humorous pictures

Get ready now cuz the wild weekend is coming!
Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator
(submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging at Megan & the Bad Kitty Cats
(see the week's host to enter your WCB post
in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos at Mind Of Mog
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats at Kashim & Othello
Sunday Evening
(submit your post here)

2 comments:

  1. Haha Andree tha LOLCAT bible is hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw a sign posted while out walking this afternoon that said "LOLCAT...answers to Cheezburger." It had what looked like a real phone number, too.

    In response to your comment: the photos are in the new SF home. Luna doesn't go up to that extra high ledge too often, and I was a bit nervous one of the times she did. But cats do enjoy being in high places.

    ReplyDelete

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