Friday, December 19, 2008

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fourth Sunday of Advent

Fourth Sunday of Advent
2 Sam. 7:1-11, 16
Luke 1:47-55 or Ps. 89:1-4, 19-26
Romans 16:25-27
Luke 1:26-38

2 Samuel 7: 1-16
God's promize 2 david

1 aftr teh king wuz settld in his palace an teh lord had given him rest frum all his enemiez around him,
2 he sed 2 nathan teh profet, "her im, livin in palace ov cedar, while teh ark ov ceilin cat remains in tent."
3 nathan replid 2 teh king, "whatevr u has in mind, go ahead an do it, 4 da lord iz wif u."
4 dat nite teh werd ov teh lord came 2 nathan, sayin:
5 "go an tell mah servant david, dis ar teh wut teh lord sez: r u teh wan 2 build me houz 2 dwell in?
6 i has not dwelt in houz frum teh dai i brought teh israelitez up out ov egypt 2 dis dai. I has been movin frum place 2 place wif tent as mah dwellin.
7 wherevr i has movd wif all teh israelitez, did i evr say 2 any ov their rulers whom i commandd 2 sheferd mah peeps israel, "y has u not built me houz ov cedar?"
8 "nao den, tell mah servant david, dis ar teh wut teh lord almighty sez: i took u frum teh paschur an frum followin teh flock 2 be rulr ovar mah peeps israel.
9 i has been wif u wherevr u has gone, an i has cut off all ur enemiez frum before u. Nao im gonna mak ur naym great, liek teh namez ov teh greatest doodz ov teh earth.
10 an im gonna provide place 4 mah peeps israel an will plant them so dat they can has home ov their own an no longr be disturbd. Wickd peeps will not oppres them nomore, as they did at teh beginnin
11 an has dun evr since teh tiem i appointd leaders [a] ovar mah peeps israel. Im gonna also giv u rest frum all ur enemiez. " teh lord declarez 2 u dat teh lord him will establish houz 4 u:
12 when ur dais r ovar an u rest wif ur fathers, im gonna raize up ur offsprin 2 succed u, hoo will come frum ur own body, an im gonna establish his kingdom.
13 he iz teh wan hoo will build houz 4 mah naym, an im gonna establish teh throne ov his kingdom forevr.
14 im gonna be his fathr, an he will be mah son. When he doez wrong, im gonna punish him wif teh rod ov doodz, wif floggings inflictd by doodz.
15 but mah luv will nevr be taken away frum him, as i took it away frum saul, whom i removd frum before u.
16 ur houz an ur kingdom will endure forevr before me [b] ; ur throne will be establishd forevr. "

Luke 1: 27-38
Hail, Mary Oh hai Mary.
26 Ceiling Cat sended Gabriowl, a hovr d00d, to Nazareth (dat is a citi in Galilee)
27 to a virgn naemd Mary. She wuz engajded to a d00d naemd Joseph.
28 Gabriowl wuz liek "O hai Mary, u iz realli nice. Ceiling Cat iz wif u."
29 Mary wuz kiend of worrid about dat.
30 But teh hovr d00d wuz all "Doant be afraid. Ceiling Cat iz happi wif u.
31 U iz gonna hav a kittn. Naem him Jebus.
32 He wil be graet. He wil be teh kittn of Ceiling Cat an his daddi will give him David's chaer.
33 He wil r00l Jacob's house forevr."
34 Mary wuz liek "O rly, i iz a virgn remembr."
35 Gabriowl wuz all "Ceiling Cat wil take caer of it."
36 Elizabeth iz goin to hav a kittn n evribodi seded it wuz imposubl."
37 Nothin iz imposubl for Ceiling Cat."
38 Mary sed "I is happi to do Ceiling Cat's work. Liek u sai." N Gabriowl lefted.

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