Sunday, December 13, 2009

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Third Sunday of Advent, December 13, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Zephaniah 3:14-20
Isaiah 12:2-6
Philippians 4:4-7
Luke 3:7-18

Zephaniah 3:14-20

14 Meow, first filial female of Zion; RAWR Itzreal?; drool like old man in full wet diaper, first filial female of Jouslum.
15 Sky Catz is not judge judy, gone fishing for enemas: Big Kahuna of Itzreal?, and Sky Catz is in the house, d00dz: Srsly, I poked you in the eyes again.
16 Then yammered to Jouslum, RAWR NO MORE: and to Zion, STIFF LITTLE FINGERS rocks!!
17 Teh Sky Catz thy Ceiling Cat has big strong wind; Cats rock, Cats happy; Catnap with affection and meow with glee.
18 Me gets many many whining catz, d00dz crying, too heavy to carry.
19 Lookey, me take back furball: me gets gurlz standing by lamp post, drives her to meeting; Yo! you cheer for me in all litterboxz where doo doo sits and smells.
20 Tehn me meows, me gets you; me calls you something-or-other and meows to all Catz of Urth, me puts you in Cat carrier and pokes your eyes, meows the Sky Catz, srsly.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Isaiah 12
Teh Song Of Kthx

1 On dat dai, teh kittens sai "Oh Ceiling Cat, ai praise yu, yu wuz mad at me but nao yu hug me.
2 Teh Ceiling Cat helpd me so ai will not be frayd ov yu. Teh Ceiling Cat iz mah pop an mah helpr. He giefz meh teh strenth n teh pwr.
3 Liek teh fresh wtrz iz gd to drinkz (n only to drinkz, no washin plskthx), dat is liek how teh Ceilin Cat is to teh othr kittehz dat he saevz."
4 An on dat dai sai "Praise teh Ceiling Cat, he iz teh pwnz0r. Tel him to helpz yu! Tel teh othr kittehz dat he iz teh awesumness!
5 Pls to meowz to teh Ceilin Cat bowt hw much he rawks! Maek sure teh othr kittehz hearz yur meowinz.
6 Pls fur all teh kittehz in teh Zion to yowl n meow! Teh Ceilin Cat frm Israel is teh smexx0rz, n he liefs wid his pplz."

Philippians 4:4-7

4 Purr for Bigcat. Allwais. Dont jus purr, jump!!11! (Srsly. But not too srsly.)
5 Show all kittehs yr gentle. Ceiling Cat comin soon.
6 Dont wory. Asks an thanks Ceiling Cat for stufs.
7 An de Ceiling Cat b chillin. An dis chillin will b lyk NO WAI to aneething that wanna hurt yr feelin and thinkin. Dem gonna stai in Jebus. Srsly.

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Luke 3:7-18

7 Lotz of peeplz caem to get bath frm John. He wuz all "U iz snaekz.
8 U needz to behaev. N quit sayin Abraham is ur daddi liek dat maeks a differns. Ceiling Cat cud chaenj a rock into a kittn of Abraham LOL.
9 Teh ax iz reddi to cut down te treez. Ani tree datz no good iz goin on teh fier."
10 Evribodi wuz all "O noes! Whut now?"
11 John wuz all "U shud shaer ur flee collrz wif catz who duzn hav ani. An shaer ur cookies too."
12 Dere wuz sum IRS d00dz dere n dey askded whut dey shud do.
13 John wuz liek "Doant steal duh."
14 N sum soljrz askted whut dey shud do.15 John wuz liek "Dont steal an dont tell liez."
Hovr Cat dessens from teh Ceiling.
15 Sum peepl wundrded if maybi John wuz Christ.
16 John wuz liek "No. I givz u baff wif watr, but Christ will giv u a baff with Hovr Cat an wif fier too.
17 He iz goin to put all teh wheet in hiz barn an burn teh trash on teh fier.
18 At leest he gived dem sum good newz along wif teh bad newz.

funny pictures
more animals

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
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at The Sour Dough

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1 comment:

  1. Andrée, I think I have found you. You are the person hiding behind that big red Bible!!!

    I have been missing you at OSI, I liked your poems. Was the last one a hidden message of your extinction? I hope not, I will never touch Parmesan again if it was.

    Amy says, "No names!
    She isn't Henny Penny
    'cause she'll be Parmesan!"

    Even if you don't please drop in on me once in a while.
    BTW, did you find the snow shovel I left up there in New Hampshire when we left?


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