Friday, January 01, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Second Sunday After Christmas, January 3, 2010

Second Sunday After Christmas

Jeremiah 31:7-14 or
Sirach 24:1-12
Psalm 147:12-20
Wisdom of Solomon 10:15-21
Ephesians 1:3-14
John 1:(1-9), 10-18

funny pictures of cats with captions

Psalm 147

1 Praise teh Celling kitty! praise for Celling kitty is full of win; feelz good, yeah; [and] praise is comely.
2 Celling kitty builds big house: wit lotza cheeseburgrs. All teh cheeseburgrs, they belong to me, zanks, not4 evil katz, no, no cheeseburgrs 4 evil katz.
3 Dere, dere, not cry, Ceilling kitty cleans you boo-boo. lickedy-lick, nom-nom-nom. sad hooman has flava.
4 All the starz, they are mine! They all called what Ceilling kitty calls'em. Ceiling kitty calls'em starz: "mine!"
5 Ceilling kitty is allova the ceilling, and seeeeeeeez you dacing.
6 CK (das short for Ceiling Kitty, cuz type, type, type fingers hurt. and Ceilling Kitty doz apruve) lifting heavy sad ppls. trows the bad 1s out - Do Not Want!
7 Sing for Ceilling Kitty, hooman, give him bellyrubs; sing and dance, and give moar bellyrubs.
8 Who'z on thy towels, drying thy slops? Who'z on thy pilla, stealing thy dreamz? Who'z in thy fridge, funnelling thy lagga?
9 He give noms to da moo cows & da lowd birdies
10 Ceilling kitty no immpressed by horsys or strong doods srs
11 Dah Ceiling Cat lovz all kittehs who hasz fear of him, And who knowz dat Ceiling Cat hasz srs lovez.
12 Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Kittehs. Praize dah Ceiling Cat, Hoomans.
13 Cauze he makez dah houze saefr, and givez Kittehs Cheezburger.
14 An he givez peece to dah couch, an sendz the bezt of cheezburger to hiz Kittehs.
15 make16 moar17 funs18 bbl19 leiter20 Praise Ceiling Kitty and give gushi foods.

funny pictures of cats with captions

funny pictures of cats with captions

Ephesians 1:3-14
Free stuf frum teh Ceiling Cat

3 Luv teh Ceiling Cat nd Jesus dat givez us teh free stuf.
4 Teh Ceiling Cat pikded us to be teh holey nd gud kittehs.
5 Ceiling Cat adopps uz as teh kittehs thru Jesus cuz he wants to,
6 nd givz us teh Jesus, who he luvs lots.
7 Jesus lets us off teh hook 4 arr invisible errorz.
8 No end of teh good cuz Ceiling Cat has teh brainz.
9 He tellz us evrythin we needs to kno abt, cuz he wantd 2.
10 Nd wen teh time is rddy, its will awl be in wun cookie bag with teh nam uv Jesus awn it.
11 A plan- Ceiling Cat haz it, and choosded us for it. He knos wat hes doin. Srsly.
12 This wai teh Jew kittehs maek Ceiling Cat happy nd they gets saved,
13 nd nao evry1 else has teh life saved 2. We is addoptd 4 real nao, like he promisd.
14 Ceiling Cat buys us so we can has gud stuf.

funny pictures of cats with captions

John 1:(1-9), 10-18
Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh

1 In teh beginz is teh meow, and teh meow sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh meow iz teh Ceiling Cat.
2 Teh meow an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.
3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.
4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."
5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.
7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz mite bleev"
8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.
9 Teh tru lite ov lotz of lite wuz comes, k?
10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.
11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"
12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—
13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.
I can has messiah???
14 Teh cat macro comez dwn frm Ceiling (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.
15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"
16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.
17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jebus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.
18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."

funny pictures of cats with captions

Weekend Cat Events
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Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging
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Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
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The Carnival of the Cats
#303 – Mind of Mog
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