Friday, January 29, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fourth Sunday after the Epiphany, January 31, 2010

Fourth Sunday after the Epiphany
January 31, 2010

Jeremiah 1:4-10
Psalm 71:1-6
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Luke 4:21-30

Jeremiah 1:4-10

4 Ceiling Cat sed:
5 "Oh hai! Befour I maed u I knew u. U pwn n ur a prophet, k?"
6 I sed "No wai!"
7 Ceiling Cat sed "Wai! Do wut I tells u!
8 Dun worry, I can help."
9 Den Ceiling Cat touched me an sed, "I'm in ur mouf, givin u werds."
10 Nao u maekz stuff an braekz stuff, k?

Psalm 71

gud ceilin cat, u has kept me in teh snugglez ov ur luv thees lotz da yeers.
uve totally saved me lot ov tiems 4 REALZ.
ize comin 2 u lotz tiem when they all try 2 taek away mah cheezburgers!!!
i wuz always frum birf doin wut ceilin cat wantd.
but teh bad onez dat wants 2 taek mah cheezburgers when i wuz kitteh r still her an they try 2 find ways 2 RUIN EVERYTHIN 4 ME!!
nao i iz bout 2 dye srsly!!!
i wants luv from u ceilin cat.
i iz yelling dat ur teh bests totally i meen it an shout loud an i iz hopin u will gimie cheezburgers.

funny pictures of cats with captions
1 Corinthians 13:1-13

1 iff i talkd wif teh tungz of manz n angylz, n duzzn haz luff, i are becom liek teh human, knockin down all teh potz n panz frm teh shelf, srsly.
2 iff i haz powarz of liek tellin the futurez an if i has access to teh internets, an i gotz all teh missteriez an all teh knowingz an all teh faithz, enuff 2 taek all teh mowntanz awayz, an i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.
3 an evn iff i givez all mai stuffz awai, n iff i delivur mai bodiz to b burnded up, and i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.
4 Luv is pashient n kind, luv haz no jelusniss or showin offz, luv no is stuck-up
5 or r00dz. Luv no insistzes on doin it 4 itzelf, itz not pisst off alla tiem or rezentflufflele.
6 Luv izzn all happiez about doin it wrong, but is happiez about teh truthz.
7 Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz, beelivez all teh stuffz, hoepz for all teh stuffz. Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz... i sed that areddy?
8 Luv no haz endingz. Tellin the futurez, tungz, an alla stuffz u know wil die.
9 We haz knowingz a bit, an we haz profacy a bit. We no haz two much tho.
10 O, wait. Win teh perfict coemz, teh not perfict will dyez, lolol.
11 Wen i wuz a kitten, i meweded leik a kitten, thinkded liek a kittenz, an I chazed strings liek a kittenz. Wen i wuz becomez a cat, i NO WANT kitten waiz ne moar.
12 For nao we see in teh foggy mirorr like when teh human gets out of teh shower, but tehn we see faec tow faec. Nao i haz knowingz just a bit, tehn i will haz all teh knowingz, as i haz been knownz.
13 Nao faithz an hoepz an luvz r hear, theses threes, but teh bestest iz teh luv. srsly.

Luke 4:21-30

21 an Jebus wuz all "Dat comed tru todai. I iz in ur synagog, fulfillin ur professeez."
22 Evribodi wuz all "What a niec kittn. Hez Joesphz kittn riet?"
23 Jebus wuz all "Now u iz gonna sai 'Doctor, treet urself! Do sum miraclz heer liek u didded in Capernaum.' "
24 "U no whut, no proffett iz popular in hiz hoemtown.
25 When Elikhat wuz aliev, dere wuz lotz of widowz whaer he lived.
26 But Ceiling Cat didint send Elikhat to enni of dem. He sended Elikhat to a widow in Zarephath insted.
27 N when Elisha wuz aliev dere wuz all kaindz of leperz whaer he livd. (Leprz haz a skin dizeez calld leprosi, it is nasti). But teh onli wun Elisha healded wuz Naaman teh Syrian."
28 Dat pissted evribodi off.
29 Dey throwd Jebus out of town an draggded him up a hill. Dey wuz goin to thro him off teh clif.
30 But he jus walkted thru teh crowd an lefted LOL.

funny pictures of cats with captions

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