Friday, February 05, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fifth Sunday of the Epiphany, Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sunday, February 7, 2010
Fifth Sunday of the Epiphany

Isaiah 6:1-8, (9-13)
Psalm 138
1 Corinthians 15:1-11
Luke 5:1-11




Isaiah 6:1-8, (9-13)

1 O hai! Isaiah iz here: this me book. Chiefcat Uzziah waz ded. Me seez teh Ceiling Cat. Big chair, hi-up. Ceiling cat haz klothz. Lotsa klothz! (An a train. Who knu?)
2 An brnin wngz guyz. With fyer! Lotsa brnin wingz guyz! to wngz hId Iz! to wngz hId fete! 2 wngz: Flii, mnkEs, fliii!!
3 An yelped: Mega-733t, mega-733t, mega-733t be ceiling cat, an he maded starz! Starz-boss ceiling cat!
4 An smok! An more smok! An Rikter ScAL 9 San Andreas! An Rikter ScAL 9 San Andreas! Srsly!
5 I sez: I iz pwnd! I iz totly pwnd! Srsly! Iz sad! I iz drty-mout un-733t cat. I livz wit drty-mout bad kittehs! I seez ceiling cat, he maded starz, starz-boss ceiling cat! I seez! I iz pwnd!!
6 1 Den a wngz guy bringed a fyer rock to me.
7 He tuch it on mai mouf an sez "Hot fyer tuch ur lipz.. Yoo iz furgiben nao.
8 An ceiling cat is liek "Me want senz a gai, who want go?!" [hint hint lol] an I sez: "mE here. Senz mE pl0x!
9 An ceiling cat is liek: "I senz U. U 733t. U sez to kittehs: U kittehs herz and no herz, U kittehs seez and no seez.
10 U kittehs heart fat, U kittehs eerz no work, U kittehs shut Iz, so U kittehs no seez ceiling cat hoo maded starz! Starz-boss ceiling cat!"
11 An I sez: Srsly? An ceiling cat sez: sitEs pwnd, an houzez pwnd, an land pwnd.
12 An mah kittehs go far far awai
13 But den a tenth of mah kittehs com bak. U no, liek wen fluff cat lose all fluff, iz still cat even wit no fluff, a few of mah kittehs still MAH kittehs.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Psalm 138
1 O hai! Ceiling Cat, hai lotz an lotz; hai evn afront of othr Ceiling d00dz
2 I iz all abowt rollin ovah in front of yur howse an sayn ur naem cuz yu are sweet an yur naem iz kewl!
3 When I sed yur naem, yu can haz anser; Iz can not haz scaredz
4 Yu should haz othr d00dz say yur naem. srsly, Ceiling Cat, cuz them hearded yu purringz
5 Othr d00dz shud singz abowt yur stuffz; cuz yu are kewl!
6 Ceiling Cat iz real hie up and him lookz at short peepel; but him noes them d00dz that not haz cheezburger evn wen them iz liek a millyun mielz away
7 I can haz lotz of troubel, but yu cleen my littah boxz, yu giev teh fingah to d00dz dat no liek me, and yur riet paw is teh kewlest
8 Ceiling Cat will alwaez cleen my littah boxz; Ceiling Cat, yur kewlness will last long tiem. Srsly. Plz dont forget to cleen mah littah boxz an giv me cheezburger an stuff.

funny pictures of cats with captions
1 Corinthians 15:1-11
Jesus died for u n den he comed bak

1 OK, remembr what I told u befor about Jesus, itz importnt.
2 If u follo what I tolded u, u wil be saevd. Othrwaiz itz no use.
3 Dis iz teh moast importnt thing: Jesus died becz of our Invisible Errors (liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible),
4 he wuz burieded an caem bak to lief on teh thrd dai (liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible).
5 Peter seed him an so did his twelv followrz.
6 An after dat fiev hundrid peeplz seed him. Sum iz evn stil aliev.
7 Jamez seed him too,
8 an I wuz last, liek teh redhedded stepchield LOL.
9 I iz teh leest importnt of Jesuss followrz. I duzint evn dizurv to be wun, bcz I wuz meen to Ceiling Cat's church.
10 But Ceiling Cat wuz niec to me. I iz what I iz. I wrkd rilli hard, hardr dan ennibodi, but rilli all teh credit goez to Ceiling Cat.
11 So no mattr who sez it, dis iz what we tellz evribodi, and dis iz what u beleevded.

funny pictures of cats with captions
Luke 5:1-11
Jesus callz teh frst disaiplz

1 Wun dai Jesus wuz bai Lake Gennesaret n dere wuz all kiendz of peeplz lissnin, he wuz feelin crowdid.
2 He seed two boetz whaer teh fishrmenz wuz washin dere netz.
3 He gotted into wun of teh boatz an wuz liek "O hai Simon, cud u go a littl waiz into teh watr kthnx." Den he talkded to teh peepl from teh boat so he wudnt feel so crowdid.
4 When he wuz dun he sed "OK Simon, now go into teh deep watr an lets fish."
5 Simon wuz liek "We haz ben fishin all nite an all dai an haznt caughtid nothinz. But i wil stil do liek u sez."
6 An dey caughtid so much fish dere netz wuz braekin LOL.
7 So dey asktid dere buddiez to help, an evribodiz boatz wuz so ful of fishiz dat teh boatz wuz sinkin LOL.
8 Simon Peter wuz all "OMG u iz teh kittn of Ceiling Cat! i iz a bad cat n i doant dizrv to hav u here wif me!"
9 Bcz he an his frenz were all liek, OMG look at all teh fish.
10 An so wuz James an John. Dere daddi Zebedee wuz Simons fishin buddi.
Jesus wuz liek "Its OK, from now on u iz fishin for peeplz insted LOL."
11 So dey lefted dere boatz on teh shoar an followded Jesus.


Weekend Cat Events
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Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging
#244 Feb 5-7 Othello at Paulchens FoodBlog?!
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 112 | Feb 07, 2010 Nikita Cat
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The Carnival of the Cats
#308 – iMeowza
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Ree-purrted by KC

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