Friday, February 12, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Transfiguration Sunday, February 14, 2010

Transfiguration Sunday
February 15, 2010

Exodus 34:29-35
Psalm 99
2 Corinthians 3:12-4:2
Luke 9:28-36, (37-43)




Exodus 34:29-35
Teh Radiant Face of Teh Moses

29 When mosez came down from teh mounten with teh bof roks dat he writed teh law on, he din knoa dat his fais wz all shiniey and WHOA! cuz he ben hangin' wit teh Ceilin Cat.
30 so wen aaron an all teh peeps saw mosus, his face was all supa glowey! an they wer liek, WTF?? DO NOT WANT!!1 for 2 b close to Mo.
31 But moesz wuz liek "O Hai!"; so aaron n all teh bosscats came back to him, and he talkd to dem.
32 after dat all teh izreelites cumed close to him, and he gived them all teh roolz n stuff teh Ceilingcat had given him on mownt syniey.
33 aftr mosus wuz dun, he hid insied paper bag for to hied his shiney face.
34 But whenever he hung wit teh ceiling cat an to speak with him, he removed teh bag until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded,
35 they saw that his face was glowy agin. Then Moses would put the bag back on hisself til he went in to speak with the LORD.

funny pictures of cats with captions
Psalm 99

Let teh nashuns tremble; He sits on RLY RLY HUGE chair dat iz moar pimpd out than Pimp Mah Ride itself, Let teh urf shaek.
2 Ceilin Cat PWNZ in da almighty land ov Zion; He iz lovd an given Cheezburgers all ovar teh nashuns
3 Let them praize ur amazin PWN-ing Skillz— He iz no n00b.
4 Ceilin Cat iz mighty, he LOVEZ justice, an Arbys— U has establishd equity; In Jacob U has dun Wut iz jus an rite, an not n00b-ish.
5 Exalt teh lord R Ceilin Cat Lay cheezburgers on teh table in frunt ov his highchair; He iz no n00b.
6 Moses an Aaron wuz among Ceilin Cats kool doodz, Samuel wuz among dose hoo bakd Ceilin Cat cooky; They calld on teh Ceilin Cat 2 apologize 4 eatin teh cookiez An he anzwerd them.
7 He spoke 2 them frum teh pillar ov cloud; They kept his random knick knackz an teh decreez he gaev them.

funny pictures of cats with captions
2 Corinthians 3:7-12
Why new promiss teh r0x0r

7 Now teh old promiss wuz pretty gud, an Israelites was thinkin' Moses was all shiny and hard to lookz at,
8 but our promiss is SO shiny, OMG.
9 Teh old promiss wuz all bout kickin' butt, but teh new promiss is bout bein gud kitteh forevah.
10 And teh old shiny is not shiny n e moar, cuz our shiny is so bling it way kuler.
11 And our shiny is teh forevah shiny, and your old shiny wuz not, so nuh.
12 So cuz our shiny iz so neat, we iz brave like big jungle kitteh.
13 We no hide our shiny like that pussy Moses, tryin' to protect teh Israelites.
14 Cuz teh Israelites can't see teh shiny in the old promise, so ours iz moar gud.
15 Even just talking 'bout Moses make Israel kitteh go to sleep.
16 But we wakes dem up when they hearz bout Ceiling Cat.
17 Ceiling Cat is like, sorta Ghost Cat, and Ghost Cat brings freedum.
18 And us kitteh who not hide our shiny lookz more like Ceiling Cat every day.

funny pictures of cats with captions
Luke 9:28-36, (37-43)
Teh Ceilin Clowd

28 Liek ate dais leitr, Jessus wentz up mawnten to prai to Ceiling Cat, wid Peter an John an James.
29 As he praided, he startd lookin wierd an hiz clothez turnded wite.
30 An too ppl sed to him, Moses an Elikhat,
31 an dey sed he shuld leve at Jerusalem.
32 Peter an teh otter doodz wer tirded, but dey keppt aweik, an dey saw teh amazinness of Jesuss and teh too ppl wit him.
33 Peter sed to Jesus, "Letz us meik tree boots, wun for all ov u."
34 An a clowd apered, an dey went in teh clowd an wer scraed.
35 An Ceiling Cat's voize caim frum teh clowd, an he sed, "Dis iz mai sun, u will lissen too wut he sai."
36 An wen voice finissed sain, Jesus wuz found aloin. An dey wer kwiet, an didnt tell enniwun.
Jesus haits demnz
37 Neckst dai, wen dey caim daown, lawts uv doods metz them.
38 An a man sed, "Plz lookz fro mai sun, cuz he be mai onlee sun,
39 an a speert grabz him, an he screemz, an he shaiks till hez got rabiez, an breakz him into peezez, an wont leavez.
40 An i assked ur doodz to thro it intu trash, but dey culdnt."
41 Jesus sed, "U pplz r messed. Bring ur sun heer."
42 Wen he caim, teh demn shuk him. But Jesus sed "U suk demn. Stoppit." An teh boi gotz betterz, an went bak to hiz dad.
43 An teh pplz wer al amazzeded bai teh majesty uv Ceiling Cat.


Weekend Cat Events
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Board the Friday Ark at The Modulator (submit your post here)

Weekend Cat Blogging
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Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
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#309 – Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat
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