Friday, February 19, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the First Sunday of Lent, February 21, 2010

First Sunday of Lent
February 21, 2010

Deuteronomy 26:1-11
Psalm 91:1-2, 9-16
Romans 10:8b-13
Luke 4:1-13




Deuteronomy 26:1-11
Yr firss pharm fuudz. Fork em ovr 4 Ceiling Cat, srsly!

1 Wen U R in yr noo landz taht Ceiling Cat givz yoo, an yoo startz farmeeng,
2 taek teh firss cookies an odder fuudz u gro an putz tehm inna baskit. Nawt yr sleeping baskit. Then U goez 2 teh new templ uf Ceiling Cat,
3 an say 2 teh preest ther "Oh Hai! I'm noo heer. Ceiling Cat sez thiss iz mai land too, witch he gaev to uss."
4 Teh preest will taek awai yr baskit uv cookies, butt dats K. Hee'z gonna givit 2 Ceiling Cat at Hiz altar.
5 Den U say 2 Ceiling Cat at teh awltar "Oh Hai. Itz mee. Owr daddykat uv daddykats waz an Aramean. He wentz 2 Eegyp long tiem ago, an maed uss into a reelly big nashun, srsly k?
6 Butt teh gypshuns wer meen an maed uss werk 2 harrd.
7 So we cald owt 2 Ceiling Cat an he saw ar mizry an payn an unpayd ovrtime.
8 So Ceiling Cat freekd owt the Jipshunz wit mirrekels an skary stuf, so we can haz leeving frum Ee-Jip.
9 He poynted teh way 2 dis playss 2 cum 2, an gaev us cookies an cheezburgers.
10 Nao Ize givz U teh firss cookies an stuf taht I growz heer." Putt teh baskit on teh grown B4 teh alter an bak away slolee. Tehn bow daon.
11 Tehn evribuddy iz happi wit teh fuud U haz groan. Levites an aleeinz an evribuddi.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Psalm 91

1 U dat iz in seekrit box wif Ceiling Cat iz under All-Pwnzer
2 Sez uv Ceiling Cat, iz mah under-cowch an bukkit, an i gots trust in him
3 Iz gonna saev U frum teh spyderwebz an frum teh vakuum cleenr.
4 Him iz can cuvr U wif fethrs an under hiz wings U iz safe (Ceiling Cat iz burd?) Hiz truth is can be ur bukkit.
5 U iz not skeerd uv big skaries in nite, r the bad kittehs in the day
6 Or teh dogz in teh drkness, r of bafftiem.
7 1000 can haz fall dwn, 10000 goz bum, but not u! Srsly.
8 U just see teh bad kittehs getz pwnd, k?
9 C u maded Ceiling Cat ur howz (hez mah bukkit, hez so kewl);
10 No bad stuffz can pwn you lol, no herpiz up in ur houz 4 real.
11 He iz making hiz angels watch ovr u wif mad skillz, dey keepz u safe evrywhere (even on teh toilet!)
12 Dere pawz iz holding u up so u don getz owiez.
13 U can stomp teh lions and teh lolruses, teh baby lionses and teh vakuum cleenrs u can squish dem wid ur paw.
14 C, he setted hiz luv on me teh Ceiling Cat, so il save him kthx. He can haz top of shelf cuz he noes mai naym.
15 Wen he sez "Hay r u dere?" il be liek "Oh, Hai!". In teh bad tiems il be dere, il save him an giv cookies.
16 He can haz nine long liefs an c wen i saveded him kthxbai.

funny pictures of cats with captions
Romans 10:8-13

8 Wut do dey sey? Teh wordz r in ur mouf an hart, makin yu proclame:
9 "Jebus is teh Awsum Wun"
10 an yu rly rly meen it, u can has cheezburger.
11 Teh Wordz sez, "If u can has trust in teh Ceiling Cat, yu nevr can has shame, srsly."
12 Der be no difrens betwen teh Joocat an teh Notjoocat.
13 "Every kitteh who sez Jebus is teh Awesum Wun can has cheezburger."

funny pictures of cats with captions

Luke 4:1-13
Basement Cat temptziz Jesus

1 Teh Holy Spirit leaded Jebus into teh dezrt
2 an Basement Cat pestrded him for forti daiz. Jebus didint eated nothin all dat tiem an he gotted hungri.
3 Basement Cat wuz liek, "If u iz Ceiling Cat's kittn, turn teh rokz into cookies."
4 But Jebus wuz all "No wai, liek teh book sez, 'peepl needz moar dan bred to liv.'"
5 Den Basement Cat taked him up whaer he cud see all teh kingdmz in teh wrld.
6 An Basement Cat wuz liek "U can haz all dis
7 if u prayz to me."
8 Jebus wuz liek "LOL, teh book sez 'Only pray to Ceiling Cat an wrk for him k.'"
9 Basement Cat wuz not dun yet, he takeded Jebus to Jerusalem an putted him on teh top of teh templ. He wuz liek "If u iz Ceiling Cat's son, jump off k.
10 U iz alwaiz talkin about dat book, well dat book sez:
'He wil tell his anjilz to keep an eye on u,
11 dey wil pik u up so u woant trip."
12 But Jebus wuz all "U forgetted, it sez 'Do not giv Ceiling Cat tests, kthxbai.'"
13 An Basement Cat givd up. For teh tiem bein eniwai.


Weekend Cat Events
Weekend Cat Blogging
#246 Feb 19-21 Sammy & Miles Meezer and Billy Sweetfeets Gingersnap
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Edition 113 | Mar 07, 2010 Kitties at House of Chaos
Optional Theme
(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#310 – When Cats Attack!
(submit your post here)

Ree-purrted by KC

Visit the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog

Kitty Limericks

Technorati Tags: LOL Cat Church, LOL Cat Bible, Lectionary Readings, Prayer & Praise Blog, Weekend Cat Blogging


diigo it

_/\_/\_

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for visiting and for your comments!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails