Sunday, May 02, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for the Fifth Sunday of Easter, May 2, 2010

Fifth Sunday of Easter
May 2, 2010

Acts 11:1-18
Psalm 148
Revelation 21:1-6
John 13:31-35

Acts 11:1-18
Peter Sez Wy He Did Stuff

1 Teh gud kittehs in Judea hurd bowt Gentiles getin cheezburgerz from Ceiling Cat.
2 So wen Peter wuz off to Jerusalem, teh kittehs wit cut pen13 gotz mad
3 an sez, "BAD KITTEH! Yu eated cheezburgerz with catz can haz no cut pen13."
4 Peter iz all:
5 "I wuz preyin in Joppa an seed pikshurez in mai hed. Liek Ceiling cat wuz maekin teh bed aroun me.
6 I seed lotz of aminalz an moocowz and burds on teh blankt.
7 Then some1 sez, 'O hai, Peter. Pwn and eatz.'
8 "I sez, 'WTF Ceiling Cat! I no can haz eat bad foodsez.'
9 "Invisibul voice iz all, 'Don diss foodsez I maked. N00b.'
10 An it kep happenin.
11 "K and then BFz form Caesarea cameded to teh house.
12 Invisibul voice sez go with tehm. An there littermaytz too, an we goed to a manz place.
13 Him seed an anjul wut telled him, 'Git Simon from Joppa but naem iz reelly Peter lol.
14 Him gotz a msg will bring cheezburgrs to ur bukkit.'
15 "So I wuz sayen, but then Invisibul Cat pwned tehm liek me.
16 An ai membered Ceiling Cat sayed: 'John washt yu with watr, an yu wuz all WTF! I DUN LIEK WET ON FURZ!, NP, you can haz washt with Invisibul Cat tihs tiem.'
17 So Invisibul Cat gived tehm saem cheezburgerz az us, I must be sum kind of n00b LOL!!!1"
18 An tehy ar all srry and liek, "Ceiling Cat can gievs cheezburgerz evn to Gentile catzes."

funny pictures of cats with captions
Psalm 148
Prais four Ceiling Cat cuz Him Agsepshunilee Cool

1 Prais teh Ceiling Cat! Prais teh Ceiling Cat, SRSLY! {{verse wai iz yuz no praising yet? }}

2 Prais Him an awl Him angles; {{verse yuz srsly get praising riet nao }}

3 Prais Him,

funny pictures of cats with captions
Revelation 21:1-6
A noo Jerusalem

1 This kitteh saw a new floor and a new ceiling for their wz renovations and old floor no can haz srsly. And no seaz either which is good for teh kittehz.
2 kk Ai saw a noo jerusalem come down from teh ceiling cat. Noo jerusalem look liek wedding cat
3 Ceiling Cat lives in noo jerusalem with da kittehs and dey lives with Ceiling Cat.
4 Don't cry kittehs you will not get wet we have no more seaz k!
5 Teh ceiling cat sais Ai am making thingz new srsly.
6 "Ai is front cat, Ai is back cat, ur thirsty and water u can haz!

funny pictures of cats with captions
John 13:31-35

31 Wen Judas wuz gone, Jebus sed "Naow Man's Kitteh r goinz to be all glorifieded n stuff, and it r goinz to make Ceiling Cat look reelly good, an also glorius.
32 An if Ceiling Cat looks good, Man's Kitteh will look good, an Ceiling Cat will give him many cheezburgrs.
33 Naow, little kittehs, I r only goinz to be arownd only a short little timez. U r is goinz to be all liek "Jebus, whar u did go?" an I r tellin u, liek I tolded teh Joos, u r not goinz to findz me cuz u cant go whar I r goinz.
34 You can haz new commandmint: u must all luvs eech otherz liek I luvs u.
35 Den all teh other kittehs will no dat u iz my dissypels cuz u will all luv eech other n stuff."

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
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(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

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Edition 115 | May 04, 2010 Nikita Cat
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