Saturday, November 13, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for November 14, 2010

 Sunday, November 14, 2010

Isaiah 65:17-25
Isaiah 12
Malachi 4:1-2a
Psalm 98
2 Thessalonians 3:6-13
Luke 21:5-19

Isaiah 65:17-25

new heavens an new earth
17 "behold, im gonna create New heavens an new earth. Teh formr things will not be rememberd, Nor will they come 2 mind.
18 butt be glad an rejoice forevr In wut im gonna create, 4 im gonna create jerusalem 2 be delight An itz peeps joy.
19 im gonna rejoice ovar jerusalem An taek delight in mah peeps; Teh sound ov weepin an ov cryin Will be herd in it no moar.
20 "nevr again will thar be in it An infant hoo livez but few dais, Or an old man hoo doez not liv out his yeers; He hoo diez at hundrd Will be thot mere youth; He hoo fails 2 reach [a] hundrd Will be considerd accursd.
21 they will build haus an dwell in them; They will plant vineyardz an eat their fruit.
22 no longr will they build haus an others liv in them, Or plant an others eat. 4 as teh dais ov tree, So will be teh dais ov mah peeps; Mah chosen onez will long enjoy Teh werkz ov their hanz.
23 they will not toil in vain Or bear children doomd 2 misfortune; 4 they will be peeps blesd by teh lord, They an their descendants wif them.
24 before they call im gonna anzwr; While they r still speakin im gonna hear.
25 teh wolf an teh lamb will fed togethr, An teh lion will eat straw liek teh ox, But dust will be teh serpents fud. They will neithr harm nor destroy On all mah holy mountain," Sez teh lord.

Funny Pictures and Gifs - Cat and Baby
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Isaiah 12

Teh Song Of Kthx
1 On dat dai, teh kittens sai "Oh Ceiling Cat, ai praise yu, yu wuz mad at me but nao yu hug me.
2 Teh Ceiling Cat helpd me so ai will not be frayd ov yu. Teh Ceiling Cat iz mah pop an mah helpr. He giefz meh teh strenth n teh pwr.
3 Liek teh fresh wtrz iz gd to drinkz (n only to drinkz, no washin plskthx), dat is liek how teh Ceilin Cat is to teh othr kittehz dat he saevz."
4 An on dat dai sai "Praise teh Ceiling Cat, he iz teh pwnz0r. Tel him to helpz yu! Tel teh othr kittehz dat he iz teh awesumness!
5 Pls to meowz to teh Ceilin Cat bowt hw much he rawks! Maek sure teh othr kittehz hearz yur meowinz.
6 Pls fur all teh kittehz in teh Zion to yowl n meow! Teh Ceilin Cat frm Israel is teh smexx0rz, n he liefs wid his pplz."

Funny Pictures - Basement Cat
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Malachi 4

Teh Ceiling Cat Sum Zup
1 Teh ceiling cat sez "Glowbl Warm iz happen d00dz. srsly."
2 "Not worriez - Am save u. Put u wiv der mooes."
3 "Stamp on teh bad kittehs pls."
4 "No forgot Moses? Dat storey iz klassik! Memba da ten r00lz"
5 "Elikhat sez 'BRB!' He bak b4 Urf go BOOM!"
6 "Elikhat start HART TRANSPLANT FRENZEE!! Or teh ceiling cat spank. Big tiem!"


Psalm 98

1. U spos'd 2 meow 2 Ceiling Cat fur all deelishus cookies he haz made. Wiht hiz 4 pawz an hiz armz too haz made us salvashun 4 himz.
2. Celing Cat showd how good he'z an all hiz salvashun to all da cats from heer to blokcs and blokcs from heer.
3. Ceiling cat has membered how much He luvz Izreel an want to pet dem cats all teh tiem. All teh cats form heer to blokcs an blokcs from heer hurd bout salvashun uv da Ceiling Cat.
4. Meow and purr like der is catnip to Ceiling Cat.
5. Twang doze funy instamens teh peepul play, I guess cuz taht's wut He wants... Meow sum more!
6. Make mor noiz, speshly wtih ur nose and meow 'til evn dah sleepsy peepul gets up to gives Him cheezburga.
7. Make sooooo much noize dat teh fishboul movz an teh fishz in it, and teh hol hous. Srsly.
8. Teh rivurz outside shud clap what handz theyz got an big hillz shud make noize like dey has meny cheezburga for Ceiling Cat comz back to tell all uv dem to behaiv while He's at wurk. An he telz all teh cats from heer to blokcs and blokcs from here to behaiv.

funny pictures of cats with captions
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2 Thessalonians 3:6-13

Dont Be Teh Lazy, d00dz
6 In teh naem of teh Pwnz0r Baby Jebus, we tellz u, d00dz, not to hang wif any d00dz who are teh lazy and dont do wut we told u to do.
7 Srsly, u gaiz gotz to do wut we duz. We wernt lazy, we nevr ate nobuddy's cookiez wifout payin. No wai, d00dz, we werkeded ALL TEH TIEM. srsly.
8 Iz not liek we HAD to werk and stuf, we jus wanned to sho u guyz how iz doen.
9 Wen we wuz dere, we tolded u d00dz: "if u cant haz werk, u cant haz teh cookiez." (lol pwned)
10 We herd dat sum of ur d00dz wuz in ur town, eatin ur foodz wifout werkin.
11 To thoes d00dz: srsly, plz to go be errnin ur cookiez, k?
12 And to u udder d00dz, dont get tiered of bein rite and stuf. srsly.
13 If anybuddy duznt lissen to us, dont tawk to him no moar and maek him feel liek teh los0r.

humorous pictures
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Luke 21:5-19

5 Jebus eated all teh cookiez an waz liek
6 "Dere will be daiz wif NO cookiez!!"
7 An deh fat kittehs wuz all "Oh noes! When will dis happenz? Liek rite now?"
8 But Jebus wuz liek "Nah. Not yetz. But dere will be peeps dat sez 'We can haz apocatlypse?' an yuz shud no followz dem. Cuz deys r jus impersoninatin meh."
9 Wen u haer of liek kitteh fite an stufz, dont be scardy kitteh, for dis stufz must happen 1st an it wont be de end fur de kitteh."
10 Den he sayd to dem " kitteh will fite against kitteh, kitteh house against kitteh house, kitteh bruva aginst kitteh bruva. will be no gud, buh dun be scardeh kitteh."
11 Den Jebus teh Happy Cat sed "dere will be bad tiemz wen der is no cookyz, naut even tiny wunz, and no cheezburgaz."
12 Jebus sayed "buh befoh dis happins, sum bad peeps will come and traiz to eatchoo, fur dey finks dat teh followerkittehz of happycat is gud fur nomz. dey bring u 2 graet houses of teh kingz, and dey will sai 'dese kittehs r fail cuz deys is bff wiv Jebus'"
13 "dis meenz dat dey want to maek joo An Witness to teh uber win that iz meh, Jebus, Teh Happy Cat."
14 "buh dun wurrieez."
15 "cuz i will tell yuu wordz of pwn and epik, and joo shall pwn tehm."
19 Jebus said "If you can has payshuns, you can has teh moar tinie, tastyer cookies!"

Weekend Cat Events

Weekend Cat Blogging
#284 Nov 12-14 Salome at Paulchens FoodBlog?! stepping in for Breadchick and LB at The Sour Dough
(see the week’s host to enter your WCB post in the comments for the weekend roundup)

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
## Edition 122 | Dec 05, 2010 Kashim & Othello and Salome
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(submit your post here)

The Carnival of the Cats
#348 – One Cats Nip
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Ree-purrted by KC

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