Sunday, December 26, 2010

LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Sunday, December 26, 2010

First Sunday after Christmas Day
Sunday, December 26, 2010

Isaiah 63:7-9
Psalm 148
Hebrews 2:10-18
Matthew 2:13-23

Isaiah 63:7-9

Praize an prayr
7 Im gonna tell ov teh kindnesez ov teh lord, Teh deedz 4 which he iz 2 be praisd, Accordin 2 all teh lord has dun 4 us— Yez, teh lotz da gud things he has dun 4 da houz ov israel, Accordin 2 his compashun an lotz da kindnesez.
8 He sed, "surely they r mah peeps, Sons hoo will not be false 2 me"; An so he became their savior.
9 In all their distres he 2 wuz distresd, An teh angel ov his presence savd them. In his luv an mercy he redeemd them; He liftd them up an carrid them All teh dais ov old.

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Psalm 148

Prais four Ceiling Cat cuz Him Agsepshunilee Cool
1 Prais teh Ceiling Cat! Prais teh Ceiling Cat, SRSLY! {{verse   wai iz yuz no praising yet? }}
2 Prais Him an awl Him angles; {{verse    yuz srsly get praising riet nao }}
3 Prais Him,

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Hebrews 2:10-18

10 Inn bwingen manee kittehs tah gloary, its watz fitin dat Ceiling Cat, who haz maids evahweefi, shuld purrfekt salfaeshun bie sufahwen.
11 Dee kittehs dat maek dem kittehs holey an dah kittehs dat arr maid holey arr inz dah saem famawee. Soo Jebus no iz ashaimd tah call dem bwoatas.
12 Him sayzes, "Ai willz say my naim tah mi kittehs; en dah pwescense of dah kittehs ai wilz sing yuz prayzes."
13 An agan, "Ai willz puts my twast en hims." An agan himz says, "Hee am ai, an dah kittehs Ceiling Cat haz given tah mee."
14 Sinz dah kittehs haf furr n taylz, dey mae awso shware en beein kittehs so dat bi der defs dey mae destwoy dah Basement Cat hoo howdz dah powah of def
15 an fwee dah kittehs hoo arr en caiges bi der feerz of def.
16 Foe hims no hewps dah birdcats, buh Abraham's kittehs.
17 Caz of dis himz hads tah bee maid liek us kittehs en evahwee way, so dats hims may bee ah faiful kitteh tah Ceiling Cat, an dat himz mite atoan fur dee invisible errors of dah kittehs.
18 Caz him himzself sufahd wen himz wah temptaed, hims iz abah tah helpz dose hoo arr bein temptaed. Srsly!

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Matthew 2:13-23

scaping to teh ejiptz0rz
13 And wen dey were gone teh hover d00dz of teh Ceiling Cat appeareded to Jozif and sayed "Hai, get up nao, and taek kitlin and mudder into Eejippt0rz, and stay dere till I sez, cos Herrot is lukin for teh kitlin and him gonna pwn him!"
14 And him got up and taeked Happy Cat and him mundder into Eejippt0rz at nait:
15 and stayed dere til Herrot was "lol *dead*", so ting wud be liek teh profet sayed wen he sayed "Out of Eejippt0rz I done called mah son"
16 B4 he dyd, Herrot, wen he saw teh wies men was lollin at him, was rlly ticked, so him goed owt and pwned all teh kitlins dat woz in Beetleham, and teh beaches round dere, dat was under 2, cuz teh kitlin he waanted to pwn was dat age.
17 Dat was teh way teh profet Jer-Mewer sayed
18 In Romma dere was a mew herd, crine vaerdy sadly, Raychul crine for her kitlins, and wud not be comfortd, cuz dey iz gon.

Da return to teh Nazref
19 But wen Herrot wuz "lol *dead*", and hover d00d frm Ceiling Cat came to Joezif in a dreen
20 sayin "Hai, j00 can go hoem nao, Herrot am dead, lol"
21 And him went home to Izreal wit teh kitlin and him mudder.
22 But wen him herd dat Archie'lolz was n00b king nao afer him dad Herrot, him was scaerdy to go dere; also, Ceiling Cat sed, "hai, joo dreemin, but n00b king still wantz pwn joo." So him went Gallalee insted:
23 and him moved into Nazref, so teh profets wud be rite wen dey sed "Ppl gonna call him a Nazreem"

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1 comment:

  1. This is a fun concept and I love the LOLcats. Thank you for the link to Kitty Limericks. I hope to start blogging there again soon.


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